Constant Pain

Sometimes I feel tired
Like my efforts are futile
Going on an uphill struggle
Against losing that smile
And my face just
Won't light up sometimes
And it would anger
Everyone I pass by
I don't mean to
That's the last thing I want to do
Let everyone down in
My spiraling tube
Of despair and the air
Becomes so thin
It escapes my lungs
Like it never went in
And they badger me
With questions, bombarded
With why won't you feel something
Maybe I'm emotionally retarded
And I can't help it
If I'm a dysfunctional optimist
Seen all the shit in the world
But still thinks love exists
For no reason
I think there shouldn't be one
Because if the reason goes away
Will the feeling be gone?
And my statements,
Man they all look like Swiss cheese
So many holes surround
My shaky hypotheses