I wrote this when I was having a headache

We're the mistake of our parents
What's left of the God sent
The lazy afternoons
When mom and dad never went
We're what they never wanted us to be
Repeating in their history
But we will never know
Because "they don't even talk to me"
We're the followers of media
Intrinsic factor to the anemia
Sad how we need to supplement
Just so we can meet the quota
We're the rejects of expectation
Who makes up most of the nation
But we run with scissors in blindfolds
Inflicted with infected lesions
We're the ignored needy bastards
Famed for crashing your first car
Never praised for your art
But punished for bad report cards

Constant Pain

Sometimes I feel tired
Like my efforts are futile
Going on an uphill struggle
Against losing that smile
And my face just
Won't light up sometimes
And it would anger
Everyone I pass by
I don't mean to
That's the last thing I want to do
Let everyone down in
My spiraling tube
Of despair and the air
Becomes so thin
It escapes my lungs
Like it never went in
And they badger me
With questions, bombarded
With why won't you feel something
Maybe I'm emotionally retarded
And I can't help it
If I'm a dysfunctional optimist
Seen all the shit in the world
But still thinks love exists
For no reason
I think there shouldn't be one
Because if the reason goes away
Will the feeling be gone?
And my statements,
Man they all look like Swiss cheese
So many holes surround
My shaky hypotheses

My Baby

He bought me my first pair of J's
He got my taste in music swayed
Into more positive lyricists
And less ear numbing bass hits
Got me digging into my mind
About how we're to unwind on the weekend
And how to make what's not broke better
I just want a Stussy sweater
Because I know it'll make him want me more
I just want to go to the store
And find something for him to wear
So I can just rip it off him until he's in his underwear
I taught him about what you see doesn't matter
And he taught me about what you do, you should master
It's like nursing you know
There's always a higher understanding yo
We know what we do, and we're professionals
But hit Friday night, we live like the Beatles
Sitting in an English garden
My self-doubt is in prison, and he's the warden
He got me writing poetry about him
Got me letting go of my tough exterior for him
Opened my eyes to a world I ignored
Rock so hard, we broke the headboard
Got me wanting to be a trophy wife
With a brain to maintain the circle of life
He listens to my crazy ideas
About throwin' D's on my blouses
Uncontested dogmas
He asks why we don't hop those fences
Got me watching him when he gets ready for work
Mmm, when he puts on that tie and dress shirt
I just want to collate his documents
This feeling is so foreign I should be talking in an accent
My baby, he is the most positive motivating force
I'm a river of possibilities and he's my source
The catalyst for all my chemical reactions
Got me so hot that I feel like I'm molten
With just his touch, just his words, just his glance
Damn my baby got me believing in romance

Short because I don't have much to say

What do you see
When you look at me?
I have a big heart that makes me limp
That's why I have a swagger, not because I think I'm a pimp
And when I was in school, what do you see?
My sight doesn't stray, they're the ones cheating off of me.
Jack of all trades, they always say
But when will that royal flush come my way?

Pinwheel

Hey
You have always been my favorite one
And it hurts me to hear you say that you feel you're forgotten
You're kind of funny you know, your insecurities
They don't really reflect what I see
Actually
But if it's really how you feel
I'll ride it out with you like a tornado and a pinwheel
I'll be the shoulder, and the ear that you're missing
I'll be the critic to whatever you be thinking
Or better yet, I'll just be the wall you lean on
The audience to all your new born songs
Because I know you're there for me too
So stop being EMO and acting a fool
You're flying so high, and I'll catch up
We mesh together like fries and ketchup
So the next time you feel this way
You know who to call and where to stay
I mean, you're ma boy you know that
You're like the Benny to my Top Cat
Yea, I don't even think you've heard of that
And I'm still sitting here clickin on your website ads

Just Me.. being sprung like a chicken

You don't know how happy you make me
I know I don't seem excited all the time
But you touch me
I'm just not expressive, and I'm sorry
You truly are a blessing to me, baby
I'm still not used to knowing
That someone out there is always thinking
Of me
And every little thing I do
Affects you
And I may fail you sometimes
But I'm always willing to work on it
We may argue and try to scream and shout
But our happy days are what a relationship is all about
You would never just ignore me
Even though I know that would be easier
You'd rather talk things out until they're better
And I know I'm not the most graceful lady
I can't count how many times I've scratched
Or hit you accidentally
I'm sorry
And all the dreams you have, I'm in it
House by the beach, Laker game seats
Cruise to Hawaii, trip to Paris
I've never planned my life like this
Even though materialistic, it's really not
Because we both plan on sharing it
With people that matter to us
And when you write about me
I promise you will never be played out
Because I know there's always something
New we can talk about
And I love the person you are
You're my north star
You show me the way to my destination
You don't know it, but you're my inspiration
You're the water to my constipation
Haha, I just want to make you smile
You can choose to put up with me, and I'll make it worth your while
Because I might be lame and irresponsible sometimes
But you should know you occupy all my time and tight rhymes
And I think about you all the time, especially when the songs play
When I hear Coco Rosie, Lupe Fiasco and Kanye
Even when I go on KarmaLoop.com
I keep having flashbacks of coming home to you
Sights of making corned beef and rice
PB&J's and Cefiore on ice
And I may never look at a computer the same again
I'll always think about City of Heroes and Villains
I hope I can always make you happy
I'd love for the smile on your face be because of me
And when you reach for your own dreams
I'll be the sexy head cheerleader of your team
Not only that, I'll be the co-pilot
Make you lunch on whatever budget
I'll learn how to cook like Emeril
I can touch all the bases and time will be on a standstill
BAM!

What is it?

Love
Everyone's talking about it
How it makes you feel
How it makes you sweat
How it can break you like you're in debt
How it makes you crazy and make threats
It can make you hot and wet
And you STILL thank God that you met
Yet love;
You think you go through life
Finding that other
Someone who's gonna love you better
Than the one who led you on in banter
Than the one you almost took to the altar
But never gave you a solid answer
You can go and lose yourself in all the luster
But you still search for that one anchor
But love..
Why do you think
That after each relationship
You add on a new boundary
You say, "This time, no one can do this to me."
You turn your expectations up or down
So it'll suit your needs and not make you frown
Anymore.. It's not because you learn to love less
You just learn to love YOU more
So you draw a line in the sand
Ever changing with every man
But what is it, what do you call that instance
When you love one, and he gives enough distance
And he doesn't dare cross that line with prudence
Because he cares enough not to want to find out what will happen
If he does
Is that love?

Part of a poem I deleted by accident =\

I'm so afraid for you to see me without make up on
Will my scars and blemishes cause you to run?
I try so hard to seem perfect, that's my imperfection
And when you catch me flawed, I always have an objection
To what you are saying, even though you are right
I just don't want to be judged under the spotlight
I'll fold and you can call, I don't really mind at all
I just want to be in the background, you can be the wonderwall

Fake

Don't come any closer, I don't want you to see what I really am
I'm a hollographic image meant to shroud something unpleasant
Even though I was not aware of this before today
There's nothing much that I can do, especially nothing I can say
To excuse myself from acting and being like how I am right now
Yea, maybe you're too good for me, I see you sitting on a cloud
And I shouldn't be around you, but I'll do everything I can
Even though apparently I don't have an idea as to who I am
I didn't know that I was things that I shouldn't really be
And that I should be some things in order for me to be me
I don't know if that makes sense, but fuck it, this is my rant
I'll show you exactly what I do, and say whatever I fucking want
I'm a child, I like to play games like hide-and-seek
I might tell you a little lie everytime I get to speak
Caving in and not responding is something I have learned to do
But never fucking tell me if what I feel is pseudo-true
I'm ungrateful to my parents, and I blame them for my shit
I don't like who I'm turning out to be, I just can't stomach it
A few weeks ago, I thought I knew exactly who I am
But now all my views of myself are broken on the ground
And the new buildings that tower up are of negativity
And I can't help but wonder if this is really me

Selective Amnesia

She used to be my shining star, but it was hidden from the world
Because it just so happens they won't accept a girl who loves a girl
I used to love her, she was my best friend, until she proved to be a whore
Got broken by a man, chased after me, but I don't know her anymore

He used to make me laugh, we used to make plans for the future
We would name our son Jonathan, and Jasmine for our daughter
Until our parentals took us apart, and he went off for the war
He still talks to me now and then, but I don't know him anymore

Then a guy, I was not aware, who was always in my life
We used to be together like a man does with a wife
But he took my love as a drug that he always had to score
Hurt me, so I had to leave, and I don't know him anymore

Then some guy who knew the ropes when it comes to women games
He was handsome and he knew it, and would always fuck with my brain
He could have used me for my body, but instead he wanted my soul
He still asks me out for coffee, but I don't know him anymore

No Rehab For Me

How could I just change like I did
I'm sorry baby, I was acting like a kid
It took me a minute to snap out of it
I just needed a glimpse of me before we've said what was said
And I apologize for acting like a girlfriend
You know what I mean, always trippin now and then
For little minute things, I almost got a picture of the end
I forgot that I was supposed to be your friend
Babe I'm still here riding til I die
I'll support your interests from working the earth to touching the sky
I can't wait for them to say, "hey there's that guy..."
The day will come when your greatness is realized
I'm still your girl, I will stay loyal to you
I just forgot that I was supposed to be your #2
You're agent #1, even though you're a nerd
You can always take revenge in my world
And I know you'll take this poem as a critic
So I just wish I can lend you my heart, have a feel for it
Because I don't want you to miss the intention
This might be my self-non-intervention
It's put me in the most welcomed awkward situation
I have dry mouth, but I can speak about it on and on and on
This drug that I am on, no not BCPs or E
It's my endulgence in Mr. D-U-C-K-E-T-T
And I don't ever wanna be sober
Nah-uh don't take me to rehab mister
I'll even hide in the sewer like a Ninja Turtle
I'm out of shape, but I'll jump every hurdle
I'll shout to the world, pray they'll hear every single word I said
Anything that I can do, so you'll never again feel unappreciated

What were we on?