Night out with my friends

Tonight, I spent time with my friends who are basically in the same place in their lives as me. The feeling of loss of self-worth, the insecurity of not doing anything with our lives, the huge amount of time that we have to spend over-thinking things. Well, it's at least a comfort to know that I'm not alone. One of these days, we will just go somewhere, do something, and then after we burn out all our energy and desires, we will come back. Maybe we'll be different, maybe not. But I speak for myself when I say, a road trip is LONG overdue. They may agree. So keep a duffle bag of clothes and self-care supplies ready. Just in case.

We ended up talking about a lot of things. Mostly where we see ourselves in 5 years. I replied, I would be an RN, and I would have a kid, but I won't necessarily be married. I never would have thought of wanting to have a child, but right now, at this moment, I do want one some day. A boy or girl, it doesn't matter. I always did have the fantasy of having a Black kid, though. And it fills me up with hope. I actually have plans for my future, no matter how broad my spectrum of wants is. Another reply is that one would just take things day by day, as it comes. Whatever happens will happen.

We talked about location. Los Angeles? The Bay area? Vegas? Seattle? A man-made island floating in the Pacific? Where do we want to be right now?

We talked about the past.. about my "Lifetime movie" stories. The cartoons and shows and movies we used to watch. The technology back then.

About now. A failing relationship, a blossoming one, or just not looking for one. Our parents, our families. Our friends that moved on from spending time with us. What we wouldn't do at our ages right now. Drugs, sex, money. Coming-up birthdays, and what we would miss.

And we talked about love. Why things are never so simple, and why Coldplay makes us sad, and which ones of us crave that high school kind of love up until now, and which ones just want to grow up to match another's needs.

It's great picking each other's minds. And we weren't even under the influence!

Meesh, I wish you could have been there, but good luck with your NCLEX today! You will do great!