Wednesday, January 30

A little bit about me..

When I first met Russell, he told me that I met him at a weird time in his life. "Transitional phase", he said. I guess I'm at that point in my life right now too.

To tell you the truth, I wasn't always like this. I used to be on edge all the time, a little panicky sometimes. I think my last relationship really broke me down to the point that I needed to be someone else in order to please my ex. I was scared of him, he was a crazy guy. And when I finally got the courage to stand up for myself, he didn't like it, kicked me out of the house in the middle of the night, and that's about it.

I think going to school for my LVN was the best thing I could have done in my situation. I was really into it, as much as I would like to deny. I was a good student, I was really putting a lot of focus on school. I was even stressed out sometimes, I just liked to put on a calm front.

Even though I'm not completely off guard now that I finished school, I do believe that I've earned a little carefree-ness for a while. I try not to jump up to every dilemma. I just want a short period of time to stop and find myself again. Someone in between the panicky me, and the awfully relaxed me.

I usually don't like to explain myself, it's because I try to accept everyone as they are. And I think that they're who they are because they choose to be like that. And I like to think that people should accept me for who I am too. I mean.. life is too short to live it trying to please everyone for the sake of pleasing everyone. I'd just like to be myself for once.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice blog baby! Be you! Fight the power Agent 2!

belle said...

yes i love you for who you are ateh! yay!